In-person dating is making a comeback, but are we ready for it?

After a decade of swiping, and that global pandemic we all went through, it seems like people are craving something different. There’s a growing shift back to in-person dating: meeting over a hot coffee, simple eye contact, even comfortable silence that doesn’t cause quite as much anxiety as the “typing” bubbles on your iPhone. This craving, the basic human need for connection, is quite literally why I started Alto Matchmaking.

However, I recently read this article highlighting how Gen Z is not comfortable or even equipped with the skills required for in-person dating, with one even using the term “extrovert privilege”. I’d like to point out that it’s not just Gen Z feeling this alienation… we all seem to have lost a bit of the ability to flirt, or the bravery (or the cash, let’s be honest) to head out to bars or other venues to meet people in real life.

Many of the people I speak with are even finding the transition back to real-world connection downright challenging. Through the widespread use of dating apps, we have been conditioned to prioritise filters and the thrill of what might be next over what’s in front of us, and it can be uncomfortable not to hide behind our carefully-chosen pictures and prompts.

Modern anxiety and our hyper-individualised algorithms can also add to our feelings of isolation, making it seem near impossible to even find others to share our time and lives with.

Having said that, I remain optimistic! I’ve seen the demand for offline opportunities to meet other singles; I’m often asked when our next event is (watch this space!). I would say, in the meantime, to be gentle to yourself. As we navigate the return to in-person dating, consider what small steps might be realistic for you. It might not be feasible or desirable for you to suddenly become a flirty extrovert. But, could it be something as simple as making conscious eye contact with an interesting stranger for a few seconds? Signing up to one event in the next 2 weeks? Carving out 20 minutes to do some introspective work on what your relationship values are?

I encourage these small steps in my dating strategy sessions all the time. They seem simple, but they can make big differences when it comes to dating confidently and meeting the right people. Real connection is still out there, and it starts by being present to participate in it!