Love Across Borders: Niamh & Nik on Love, Distance, and Moving Forward
As part of our Love Across Borders series, we're highlighting real couples navigating life and love across countries and cultures. Meet Niamh and Nik, whose story spans Europe.
When Niamh moved from the small Irish town of Kildare to Berlin, she didn't expect to meet her future husband within just two weeks of arriving. But fate - and Tinder - had other plans. Nik, born and raised in Berlin, was playing professional basketball at the time. Their first date was in a lively Irish bar; a happy foreshadowing of their relationship to come, where cultures and places would intertwine over time.
Their relationship has only grown stronger, tested by challenges and full of moments of meaningful connection. As Niamh told me, they have a deep friendship and genuinely enjoy each other’s company; they take pleasure in the little things like going to the gym or the supermarket together.
What are some of the cultural or linguistic differences they’ve encountered throughout their relationship?
“Even though we speak mostly English at home (with a mix of German), certain phrases and expressions have been difficult to fully explain to each other. The biggest difference is the directness of Germans, and coming from Ireland, where people tend to dance around what they intend to actually say,” Niamh tells me, “but we have definitely learned to approach each other's differences with an open mind and really over-communicate what we mean!”.
A shared glance, a gentle touch - Nik and Niamh express their love in many ways
Nik let me in on the story of when he proposed to Niamh: on a spring day in 2023, they were walking together along Berlin’s popular Mauerweg avenue, lined by beautiful blossoming pink cherry trees. Niamh asked Nik to take some photos of her, but he was not getting the angles right (whether this was on purpose or not remains his secret) and she wasn’t happy with the shots. He told her “I’ll take a video instead”, put down the phone in recording mode, and stepped in front of the camera to get on one knee. She was completely surprised, and excitedly accepted his proposal. The wedding is planned to take place next year.
Long-distance, growth, and resilience
One of the bigger tests of their relationship was when Niamh spent 6 months in Kosovo last year on a peace-keeping mission, while Nik stayed in Berlin for his career. How did they successfully survive this challenging period? Niamh says they came out of the experience even stronger as a couple. “Taking the time to actually talk to each other at the end of our days and go through any worries or stress together really makes our relationship so strong,” she shares.
Shared values
At the core of their partnership are values that transcend any cultural difference: Loyalty, family, communication, a shared love of travel and discovery, and a deep friendship that grounds everything they do.
After 3 years of living together in Germany, the couple are taking the next step of their lives this summer, when they will relocate to Ireland. Both are looking forward to the new small town adventure, with Nik taking Irish lessons and saying that he is already a local celebrity, the “tall German”.
The couple is looking forward to their next adventure - an international move and their wedding
Reflections on love across cultures
When I met them on a sunny spring day in Berlin-Mitte, Niamh and Nik flowed well together, with a special mutual understanding that I see in all successful relationships; it comes through in quick shared glances or a gentle touch. They have a clear unspoken bond that comes through in the way they treat each other: with kindness, support, and love. The 30cm height difference is a striking feature of their relationship. They may not naturally see eye-to-eye (pun intended!), but with intentional communication and a shared vision, they bridge any gap with love.
Their advice for other intercultural couples?
Make the effort to understand.
“Keep in mind that any conflict doesn't come from a place of malice towards the other person - we are always on the same team no matter what happens.”
Stay interested - your backgrounds are different and that’s what makes them special.
“It's […] vital to be interested and to understand your partner's upbringing and experiences that have led to the person they are today. Also, leave your ego at the door! Just because something seems normal or right to you, doesn't mean that translates to your partner’s perspective - be open-minded always!”
Are you navigating love across cultures too? We'd love to hear your story as part of a future Love Across Borders series, or help you find your own match across borders. Contact us!
Photos by Emma at EC Media.